http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080717-172136
The two men, and a third still being sought, police said, forced two cleaners leaving the Swiss Chalet back into the restaurant at gunpoint, then bound them with duct tape, robbed them, and kicked one cleaner in the head.

Then they dragged out the restaurant safe, loaded it into the trunk of one of the cleaners’ cars and headed out.

That’s when they hit the speed bump in the restaurant parking lot. Out tumbled the safe.

What to do? They decided the safe would open if they drove over it with the car. They did. If didn’t. The frustrated robbers tried again. And again. And again.

Damage to the car was extensive but the safe was barely harmed.

A half-hour later, one of the cleaners finally freed himself and called 911. When the police showed up, the men were still busy in the parking lot with the reluctant safe.

Police dogs ran down two suspects aged 18 and 19, who face a variety of charges. Police are still looking for a 21-year-old male suspect.]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080626-004450
The line of questioning went as follows:

Q: “Do you know that bankruptcy fraud is a felony?”

A: “Yes I do.”

Q: “Have you ever previously been convicted a felony?”

A: “Yes I have.”

Q: “How many times have you been convicted of a felony?”

A: “I have been convicted three times.” She then stopped and pondered for about two seconds before continuing: “And this will be four!”

Guess what? It was.]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080523-193307
“When they got bored with trashing the place, they played with the copy machine, taking prints of their backsides and faces. Being the neat and tidy boys they were, they kept the copies they liked and threw the ones they didn’t like into a nearby trash can. The sheriff looked in the trash cans the next morning and found perfect mug shots of each of the boys involved.”

]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080511-171757
He had stolen the check from his mother-in-law and then wrote in the amount.

The teller immediately realized something was up, and contacted the police, who found the 21-year-old bank customer with a gun in his possession and some marijuana.

Oh, the amount of the check? $360 billion dollars.]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080503-193627
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.

The man took the cash from the clerk and fled-- leaving the $20 bill on the counter.

The total amount of cash he got from the drawer? Fifteen dollars.]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080424-191446
“The delivery person got out carrying the pizzas and they put a gun to his face,” a police spokes person said. “So the delivery person threw the pizzas at them, got back in his car and drove off.”

The delivery man drove back to the restaurant and called the police, who had no problem finding the correct house.
]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080404-210933
The responding officers ran a routine computer check on the man and found an outstanding arrest warrant for failing to appear in court for driving on a suspended license. The man was taken into custody - wearing his own handcuffs.

“We took them off like he asked,” said a police spokesman. “Only he was in jail at the time.”
]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080320-025458
The man walked into a Canada Trust branch in Burlington, Ontario, with a lit Molotov cocktail and demanded money.

When the robber didn't get as much as he wanted, he grew agitated and began shaking the bottle and screaming. The makeshift bomb exploded, first setting his right hand on fire, then engulfing him in flames.]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080313-210037
Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "Freeze, mother stickers, this is a f--- up!

For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled over laughing. It probably saved his life, because he'd been about to draw his gun. He couldn't have drawn and fired before the thief got him.

The thief ran away.

The bank, in memory of the event, put a plaque on the wall - "Freeze, Mother-Stickers, this is a F--- Up!"]]> http://stupidcrooks.criminallawlawyer.net/index.php?entry=entry080306-222216
“The driver, still seated in the car, patted all of his pockets repeatedly and announced sheepishly that his license was in his trunk.

“The driver got out and opened his trunk which just happened to be full of illegal fireworks along with 5 bags of marijuana wrapped for individual sale.

“The driver then patted his front pants pockets and, with relief, told me he Had found his driver’s license in his front pants pocket. It was there from the beginning.

“The driver, who was old enough to purchase alcohol, and his two companions all went to jail.”]]>