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2008
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July
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One way not to open a safe.
07/17/08
Police said two would-be robbers were arrested early Sunday morning in the parking lot of a Swiss Chalet restaurant in Ajax, Ontario (just east of Toronto), after spending more than half-an-hour trying to open a safe they had stolen from the restaurant by driving back and forth over it with a car.
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One way not to open a safe.
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June
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Four Times
06/26/08
This woman filed for bankruptcy. Unfortunately, she just happened to “accidentally forget” about the $200,000 piece of real estate that she sold to her father for $1.00 the day before filing her Chapter 7 bankruptcy petition. When she got to the courthouse, she found herself being ripped apart by th
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Four Times
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May
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Mug Shots
05/23/08
One night three boys, ages 12, 13 and 15, broke into the local elementary school. They caused over $50,000 worth of damage to the school, including broken windows and destroyed lockers. They broke into the school office and pulled all the school records out of the file drawers and ran them through t -
Big Check
05/11/08
In Forth Worth, about a week ago, a man tried to cash a check at a bank.
He had stolen the check from his mother-in-law and then wrote in the amount.
The teller immediately realized something was up, and contacted the police, who found the 21-year-old bank customer with a gun i -
Small Change
05/03/08
A man walked into a convenience store, put a $20 bill on the counter and asked for change.
When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided.
The man took the cash from the clerk and fled--
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Mug Shots
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April
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Pizza Delivery
04/24/08
Two men ordered a couple of pizzas using their real names, phone number and home address. When the delivery man had trouble finding their house, he called and arranged to meet the two men nearby.
“The delivery person got out carrying the pizzas and they put a gun to his face,” a police sp -
Handcuffs
04/04/08
A man had a little too much time on his hands one day and decided to play with a set of handcuffs he had lying around the house. He put the handcuffs on and, lacking a key, couldn’t get them off. Did he call a locksmith? No. He called the police.
The responding officers ran a routine comp
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Pizza Delivery
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March
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Firey Temper
03/20/08
A bungling bank robber, unhappy with his small haul, accidentally set himself on fire in front of stunned tellers and customers.
The man walked into a Canada Trust branch in Burlington, Ontario, with a lit Molotov cocktail and demanded money.
When the robber didn't get as -
Mother Stickers
03/13/08
Wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun, a thief burst into a bank one day.
Aiming his gun at the guard, the thief yelled, "Freeze, mother stickers, this is a f--- up!
For a moment, everyone was silent. Then the snickers started. The guard completely lost it and doubled ove -
My Drivers License Is In The Trunk
03/06/08
A Sheriff's deputy says “I was recently on patrol when I noticed three males drive a car into the lot of a liquor store, walk in and make a purchase. We have had many problems with underage drinkers so I waited until they drove away. I stopped them and asked the young male driver if he was old -
Stealing A Cash Machine
03/03/08
Two men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front panel off the machine, though, they pulled the bumper off their truck.
Scared, they left the scene and drove home.
With the c
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Firey Temper
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February
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Smile For The Camera
02/27/08
A drug dealer decided to impress his friends by hiring a limousine for a big night on the town.
His first stop was at a posh suburban residence to sell some cocaine to a rather influential individual.
Hoping to earn a little extra profit by blackmailing his wealthy customer, th -
Going Through The Roof
02/25/08
A man decided to break into an office building by cutting a hole in the roof. Everything went according to plan until he became wedged in a crawlspace.
He got stuck and was trapped for several hours before passers-by heard his screams for help.
He was taken to a nearby Hospital -
New Area
02/23/08
Two brothers were visiting a new town when they decided they needed some drugs. The pair flagged down numerous cars and asked the drivers where they might find some crack cocaine.
The police were notified and, as you might guess, it wasn’t long before the brilliant brothers flagged down a -
He's Back
02/21/08
A man filled out a check-cashing card at a store he intended to rob. He wrote down his true name, age, social security number and current address. He returned 25 minutes later, walked up to the same window and demanded money from the same clerk. Then he became so nervous that he ran out of the store -
Pneumatic Tube
02/20/08
A couple of geniuses pulled into a bank’s drive-up lane, put their stick-up note in the pneumatic tube, pressed the button to send it in, then patiently waited in their car for the loot to arrive. The police arrived a few minutes later and arrested the pair. -
Masked Man
02/19/08
A first-time bank robber gave six $50 bills to a teller and asked her to exchange them for hundreds.
As she did, the man pulled a ski mask over his face and put his hand in his pocket, feigning a hidden gun.
When the teller looked up and saw the masked man, who was now demandin -
Serial Bank Robber
02/17/08
“We arrested a serial bank robber then arranged a line up. We had all the tellers and witnesses in to view the line up.
“I then proceeded to have them turn around and step forward. I asked each of the men to repeat the same phrase. When we got to number five, instead of saying what I aske -
Digital This
02/16/08
During a high school break-in two burglars found a camera in one of the classrooms and amused themselves by taking pictures of each other committing the crime. When they couldn't figure out how to get the film out of the camera, they concluded it wasn't loaded and left it behind. The men a -
Accidental Shooting
02/15/08
An unemployed sanitation worker in Miami is facing life in prison -- for shooting himself in the privates. In a drunken stupor, the man reached for a pistol he had hidden in his pants. The gun went off, and the bullet struck the man in the... nuggets. At first, he told officers someone else had shot -
The cops are looking for me
02/15/08
A man snatched a purse from two women in a parking lot, ran to an apartment house several blocks away and asked one of the occupants for help.
“You’ve got to help me. The cops are looking for me!”
The resident, a policeman enjoying his day off, showed the man his badge and gun -
Escape
02/14/08
A couple of inmates tried to escape from their medium security prison. They made a rope out of bedsheets and used it to scale a wall and climb down the other side. Unfortunately for them, the other side of the wall was still inside the prison grounds. They were promptly apprehended. -
Mommy and Clyde
02/13/08
A young man asked his mother to drive him to the bank without telling her he planned to rob it. He told her to wait while he went inside to conduct his business. A few minutes later junior came running out with the cash, only to find that mom had parked the car and gone inside a nearby grocery store -
Careless Shoplifter
02/13/08
A crook went into a department store to try on a pair of pants. He liked the pants so much he stole the pants, a shirt, a watch and $100 from the clerk. Unfortunately, he ran out without his wallet, which he’d put on a shelf while he tried on the pants. The wallet contained a photo of the crook, alo -
How About A Demonstration
02/13/08
A man walked up to two patrol officers who were showing their squad car computer to a group of children. When he asked how the system worked, the officers asked him for a piece of identification to use for demonstration purposes. The man gave them his driver’s license. They entered it into the compu -
Walkie Talkies
02/12/08
A group of burglars decided to use walkie talkies to pull off their biggest heist ever. The radios, they figured, would allow them to monitor the police as well as coordinate their own activities. It never occurred to the mental athletes that the police might be listening in. They were. -
Intoxicated Robber
02/12/08
When two service station attendants in Ionia, Michigan refused to hand over the cash to an intoxicated robber, the man threatened to call the police. They still refused, so the robber called the police and was arrested.
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Smile For The Camera
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July
Credit Report
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